I've been feeling the need lately to shut myself inside a bubble. I feel like I should protect myself and my family. I've been learning alot about the relationships I have, and which ones are good, and which ones are not. I just recently heard the term that fits. Toxic. Do you have any toxic relationships?
Let me explain further... After a "date" with this person, do you come home emotionally drained, tired, dragged down, and just generally in a bad mood? Are your needs and wants taken into consideration when you spend time with this person? Does this person care about your future goals and plans, and encourages you to take steps towards these aspirations?
If your first answer is yes, and the others no, you are probably in a toxic relationship.
Its not cool. I am realizing how many of these relationships I am in lately. Is there something wrong with me? Why do I attract these personalities? I feel like my husband and children are my best friends, I tell my Sweet Girl my greatest secrets. Pretty sad that I know I can confide in my 4 month old, alone.
Homeschooling has opened new windows for me, I have gleaned a lot from different people's blogs, which is why I decided to make one for myself. I hope to one-day inspire someone else! But, its not really a relationship. I don't know anyone personally, and the information I learn is always based upon the context of the group or conversation. Its pretty artificial. I hope to solve this problem quite soon, at the least get over these feelings, and acknowledge that this may be where I am for awhile. Sometimes just writing about it makes it a little bit better.
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I totally feel your pain! DH and I have many of these in our respective families. If the toxic people are not family, then we have learned to move on. But if they are family, we feel an obligation toward them. We have learned to lower our standards and accept that what we want or need from them may never materialize. We seek those things instead from each other and other relationships. Sometimes, they surprise us, and that is wonderfully refreshing. But most of the time, we just have to protect ourselves from heartache. Sad, huh?
ReplyDeleteI'm following you. I'm at the stage of moving on. My dh is not however, and its slightly frustrating. I like your advice, to just lower expectations, and accept that they cant give you what they should. It is what I will have to do for now, and in the process, search for some real friendships. They seem to be a dime a dozen. I think it has something to do with the fact that I am a lot older emotionally than my actual age.
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